After spending a month almost undoing the progress I had made, I actually realize that I'm further ahead now, than if I'd ignored the potential and stayed the course.
What this month taught me is that wherever we all are on our own journey, we can't just throw out a rope and expect someone to move to where we are. Maybe they think their veiw is better. Maybe they like the view they have and don't realize there's more. Or maybe the past is so dark, any movement at all hurts. People will come up with whatever excuses they need to avoid doing something unpleasant or painful.
It's their choice as to where they want to be. Sad as this is, there's nothing you can do, it's entirely up to them.
Out of respect for them and whatever they're going through, sometimes you will have to walk away. Sometimes this will have to be out of respect and protection of yourself.
There were a number of things that came up for myself that I was not aware of prior. Some deep lingering guilt around my dads passing, that I was still harboring. Deeper anxieties that I was holding onto from childhood, that were holding me back in a number of ways. Also altering the present and potential future of what was going on.
Some of it I'm still working through as I develop a methodology to clean those rooms up and bring only what I need into the present.
Although healing can occur rapidly, it takes a willingness to face and look into the abyss, to look long and honestly enough to see past it.
To save the princess from the dragon, to dive to the bottom of the deepest, darkest depths, to rescue your father from the belly of the whale, to dive into the chaos willingly. Face your fears and come out with more than what you went in with.
If done in this way, you will be victorious.
Truth puts things into perspective, into the past and builds a foundation for the future. Truth will expose you to chaos but will allow you to wrestle and contend with it.
Illusions and deception, twists and manipulates. Destroying the foundation and allowing chaos into your present and future, leaving you to deal with those same patterns, over and over.
This is made worse when you're the one deceiving yourself. You don't have the awareness of that anything is wrong. You don't have the tools to allow you to grapple with the chaos and disorder this brings to your life.
If you choose not to face it head on, honestly, you will become the prey. That which you fear will consume your life. You will continue to swim in the chaos and will eventually drown. You could pull others down with you, if you're not careful.
That's the choice we face but many of us have this little voice inside that says, "you're not worthy", "you're not enough", "you don't deserve that". And so in abject fear of rejection, we listen to that voice. We waffle on that business idea, we sabotage potentially good, happy relationships, jobs and opportunities out of fear of rejection. We allow chaos to reign.
Life isn't about standing paralized, spinning our wheels, petrified that we aren't enough. Not that long back, that would have been a relevant fear in the environment. To be rejected by your tribe or family could have meant death. So this anxiety is almost a vestigial evolutionary remnant in today's modern societies. Even though we're more alike than anyone wants to admit, we can be different, not fit in with the mainstream and still thrive.
If you limit yourselves with this kind of thinking and/or feeling, talk back to it. Get a click counter app for your phone and every time you catch yourself in a limiting belief, give your app a click and then talk back to the voice.
Say out loud: I am enough, I am worthy, I deserve this, until the thought goes away. It doesn't matter if you believe this or not, your subconscious doesn't know the difference and this is the voice we will slowly change.
Record the number of times per day you have these thoughts. Don't be alarmed, at first the numbers will go up because you will become more conscious of doing this and will catch yourself more. It will peak and then start to decline.
If you consistently do this for 21-30 days, you will notice that eventually you will have very few if any of these limiting beliefs remaining.
would could you do?