Another year has come and gone.
In and through it, life continues to hand out its lessons, pointing out areas where we need growth, balanced with highlights that have no parallel.
I know when you're down in the dumps, it seems like the world just keeps piling more on.
Sometimes there's things in the way to make you trip, sometimes it's a lego in a darkened room for you to step on so you can recite the lego haiku:
Fuck shit god dammit
Motherfucking shit ow ow
Fuck shit fuck fuck fuck
The truth of it is that life happens, good or bad and no matter what, you have to keep picking up one foot and putting it in front of the other.
As distilled from watching at least 100 hours of Jordan B. Peterson lectures:
No one gets a free ride, everyone pays in some way. Those who look like they have a horseshoe in their ass probably paid for the privilege dearly and I'm betting it hurt like hell getting it up there, with lube or not.
We are all human and no one is entitled to a pain free existence. Unless you are maybe facing certain death, we all have the capacity to face and overcome any reality. Especially when we can find common ground with others having the same or similar experiences.
Some may need extra hugs, advice or love. Keep in mind that, even if it comes from a place of compassion, it may or may not be wanted and we all need to do our part to respect that. While many will accept any and all help, some will steadfastly refuse and insist on doing things their own way. You can ask, but if they say no, let them be. You can't force compassion on somone.
Each human being on this planet has their own agency, their own outlook and their own beliefs that are coloured by their experiences that are different from anyone else and as an individual, they deserve respect.
That being said, there are people out there, who by their own hand or through someone else, have experienced so much pain, they just have to see the world burn. They are never happy unless they make someone else experience the pain they feel all the time and even when happy, it is short lived.
I sympathize and have a great deal of empathy, because of my own past. However, I was able to get over it, forgive myself and accept my failings, value my attributes, pick myself up and move on. It wasn't easy and took a long time to get where I am now. There are no shortcuts or any kind of easy path to take, you just have to decide to grab the bull by the horns and go for the ride. If you fall off, jump up and grab again, just hold on tighter.
And that's just it.
I owned my actions and feelings, took responsibility for them and turned them into valuable learning experiences to move me forward instead of complaining that I'm stuck because of a mirage of actions that others supposedly heaped on. It is absolutely crazy how many will try to do this, to not have to face the fear or cognitive dissonance instead of realizing they need to change how they've improperly defined or identified reality.
I have no need to project my failings and feelings onto others who have nothing to do with that past. That wouldn't be fair to anyone.
This is why no one reacts to "poor me" posts. We're all living our own life with all the ups and downs that come with it. See Jordan B Peterson quote above.
Here's the thing I've learned a long long time ago, unless the other is directly involved or is close to you, they probably could care less about your woes. That is the expected line as well, because really, if you think for a second, they have their own stuff to deal with and worry about.
As for those that continue to be a source of toxicity, continually dumping their crap in your lap, just dump them like a cheat.
Never accept a level of behaviour that is below your standards. It's not your fault they don't have dignity and respect for themselves. It's sad they don't, but it's not your fault or your problem.
Life is too fucking short for that shit.
Merry xmas and happy New Years! :)
Thanks for reading my rambles!